10 Movies Nobody Has Seen (Because Nobody Cares About Them)

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Sometime in the year 2000, I went to the movies, and I don’t even remember what I ended up seeing because one of the previews left such a profound mark on me that what followed has been erased from my memory.  The preview was for Under the Tuscan Sun, and when it came on all I could think was, ”who the fuck would ever want to see this movie?”.  That moment crystalized my understanding of the irrelevant.

The movies on this list are not famously bad like Plan 9 From Outer Space.  And they’re not notorious flops like Ishtar and Bonfire of the Vanities.  In fact, there’s nothing remotely memorable about them.  They just sort of exist, but it’s hard to believe they do, because nobody talks about them.  In a way, they’re much worse than awesomely bad triumphs like The Room and Troll 2, because those movies at least found an audience.  These movies are so wholly uninteresting in every way that they aren’t even worth making fun of.

If you’ve seen any of the following movies, please let me know.  You’ll be the first person ever to have seen them, and will be given an award as their respective patient zero.
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Advice Column #4 (4/8/13)

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Really, really funny old black and white movies. Already seen Marx, Abbott and Costello, Keaton, Chaplin, Stooges. – Stacey R.

Editor’s Note (12/4/14): We no longer answer movie questions through our advice column. We answer them in the mailbag segment of our podcast. Send them to Cody@SmugFilm.com and we will answer on the show!
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I Don’t Like Jokes, I Don’t Think They’re Funny

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Jokes, almost inherently, aren’t funny.  We all know scores of  ‘classic’ jokes from the aristocrats to dead babies to chickens crossing roads.  None of them are funny.  But, in the right context, we’ll laugh at them, because the joke isn’t what’s funny—the idea of the joke being told is.  It’s that extra layer, that prefix, that meta, that deeper meaning, which gives a joke life, and makes it funny, and makes you truly laugh.  (Laughing simply because you’re ‘supposed to’ is why sitcoms are popular, despite their unfunniness.)
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