When someone says they ‘learned something today’, I admit, I’m usually skeptical. Did they just memorize something, or did they actually take something away—i.e., did they develop an individual thought? Did their world shatter?
During my youth I didn’t believe that movies, with their overdramatic diction and flashy action scenes, could actually reach down in my soul far enough to teach me something. Movies weren’t there to do that. Movies were there to make me laugh at someone with toilet paper trailing out of their butt as they’re leaving the bathroom. Movies were there to allow me to soak in the hugeness of a destructive explosion. Movies were the pinnacle of mindless entertainment, and I saw them as nothing more or less. But then again, I didn’t really watch too many movies in general, because back then there wasn’t Audio Description, the service for blind moviegoers like myself that describes key visual elements in between natural pauses in the movie’s soundtrack.
Because of my lack of movie exploration, I did not learn that I was mistaken about the potential movies until years after graduating high school—2009, specifically. The movie that shattered all my preconceived notions was The Blind Side, which I managed to get an audio-described copy of from a friend in the UK.
The Blind Side is based on the true story of Leigh-Anne and Sean Tuohy, a husband and wife who take in a homeless African-American teen, Michael ‘Big Mike’ Oher. Michael has no idea who his father is, and his mother is a drug addict. He has had little formal education and possesses few skills to help him get along in the world. Leigh-Anne soon takes charge, as is her nature, ensuring that the young man has every opportunity to succeed. When he expresses an interest in football, she goes all out to help him, including giving the coach a few ideas on how best to use Michael’s skills. They not only provide him with a loving home, but hire a tutor to help him improve his grades to the point where he can qualify for an NCAA Division I athletic scholarship.
Before The Blind Side, characters in movies were interesting to me merely because their world was so far from my own. I was watching them through glass, looking in on events that were entertaining and different, but ultimately didn’t connect with me in any way. I’d watch with utter fascination as the actors and actresses on screen dramatized their way to very good climaxes and conclusion, but the experience didn’t stick with me. I enjoyed most movies, but I hadn’t ever met a movie that had broken through the glass and sat down next to me and became my friend. I’d never found a character that I will remember forever as though we had sat down in the park and shared ice cream together.
Given my past experience with movies, I went into The Blind Side assuming it was going to put on a show for me and then roll out of my head along with the credits. But from the minute I met Michael, I knew him. We both came from dysfunctional, abusive families, even though we were of different ethnicity. Both of us were slogging through a world of hierarchy where people looked down on you because of your track record with Child Protective Services. Right away, I wasn’t merely sitting on the couch listening to Michael walk in the rain at night, choosing to go with ‘momma’, or confess his deepest thoughts to her or the family—I was there with him, wondering why it took this long for me to meet my twin.
The realism had me from the beginning. It triggered so many feelings for me that I wept when all the happy parts arrived, remembering very vividly my own abused home, and how I managed to escape. Within the first half hour, it taught me that I didn’t have this kind of pain all to myself. Someone else was out there who had begged for things to be normal, begged for everyone to have a smile and not be so chaotic. This movie taught me that I was foolish for thinking I was alone, because here’s another person who has suffered the same kind of hurt I have. It taught me this lesson and I hadn’t even reached the 30-minute mark.
The Blind Side was telling me something, and I listened. I listened as the past splashed down my cheeks, as the movie patted me on the back and told me that the reason I didn’t find help and make it out of the home I was in quicker than Michael was because I didn’t trust people. And it taught me that anybody can find a family. I thought I was the only one who had to find someone who’d care about me enough to call me on my cell and wish me a happy birthday. I’m not. There are plenty of people out there just like me and Michael. I’m glad that this film was there to teach me that.
Comparing them side by side, this movie and my life, they follow almost the same arc. All the painful similarities that yank at my heartstrings are there, and all the beautiful moments of my happy ending as well. Watching the movie gave me a sense of peace. ‘Did anyone understand?’ I used to ask myself, as I drifted through my life, haunted by my past, thinking I was the soul carrier of nightmares. Now I know that many people do have these nightmarish things happen to them, and I wasn’t the only unlucky straw dealt a series of unfortunate events. I also know that my world, my past, is now on the big screen for people to see, and understand, and learn from. And, I learned that movies could be made like this, movie that truly showed us lives, not blew them up.
Everyone has a story that should be told. And telling that story will do a lot more than people believe, even if it’s not a big blockbuster hit. It will ground people, and even educate them. And I don’t think it even stops there. Letting these stories out into the world shows people that their hearts are needed somewhere. Telling these stories, even if it’s a hard-hitting tale without a fairy tale ending, will allow hearts to love again. It will bring people out of their heads and back down to planet earth. That’s what we all need in the final quarter, I believe.
