I have never read a comic book in my life. To the many of you who are now automatically writing off my opinions on the Batman movies, let me please remind you that I’m writing about movies. I respect comics as an art form, and they have been fodder for some great movies (namely Superman, the Spider-Man trilogy, Ghost World, and that’s literally it) but the truth is, I don’t really know a thing about comics. I do love the idea of them, though. What’s not to love? I like heroes and villains and crazy costumes.
When I was a little kid I loved Batman. I got into the campy Batman TV show when I was about four and started collecting Batman action figures. I remember when the cartoon came out, it was the coolest thing I’d ever seen. At the time, I was too young to see Tim Burton’s Batmans. They came out when I was three and five, respectively. And by the time they were age-appropriate for me, I had already moved on to dinosaurs and Spielberg.
Like everybody though, I have seen all of the Batman movies. Unlike everybody, I know that the only one that is good is Batman Forever. I’ll explain, but first, I have a lot to say about the other Batman movies, and I’d rather just say all them all here in one long, meandering essay than have to write separate ones.
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