I Want To Talk About The Internet


When YouTube started to happen, it seemed like the great leveler.  Kids in their basement suddenly had distribution equal to that of the major Hollywood studios.  And following in the wake of cheaper and better video equipment, it looked like the control of all media had shifted from ‘The Man’ to the everyman.

The results of this have been dismally revealing.

Thanks to the internet, and YouTube, we now have confirmation that 99.999% of all art completely sucks.  Before, we could only look to the establishment and their putrid output to see how bad everything is.  But with every person on earth making stuff, and throwing it up on there, we now have proof that almost nobody can make anything good.
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When Effects Lose Their Effect


Unless I’m in the mood for a truly down-to-earth story, I watch movies in order to be transported to places I’ll never go and live moments I never could in real life. In a word, I want escapism. And I get annoyed when I try to escape into an ostensibly escapist movie, only to be jolted out of it because the creators fucked up when it came to immersion. Although aspects such as the story and the characters are undeniably the most important, immersion is also very crucial. Many elements combine to form a truly immersive experience: score, sound design, acting, lighting, camerawork, and, of course, effects.
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A Delicious Batman Smoothie


I have never read a comic book in my life.  To the many of you who are now automatically writing off my opinions on the Batman movies, let me please remind you that I’m writing about movies.  I respect comics as an art form, and they have been fodder for some great movies (namely Superman, the Spider-Man trilogy, Ghost World, and that’s literally it) but the truth is, I don’t really know a thing about comics.  I do love the idea of them, though.  What’s not to love?  I like heroes and villains and crazy costumes.

When I was a little kid I loved Batman.  I got into the campy Batman TV show when I was about four and started collecting Batman action figures.  I remember when the cartoon came out, it was the coolest thing I’d ever seen.  At the time, I was too young to see Tim Burton’s Batmans.  They came out when I was three and five, respectively.  And by the time they were age-appropriate for me, I had already moved on to dinosaurs and Spielberg.

Like everybody though, I have seen all of the Batman movies.  Unlike everybody, I know that the only one that is good is Batman Forever.  I’ll explain, but first, I have a lot to say about the other Batman movies, and I’d rather just say all them all here in one long, meandering essay than have to write separate ones.
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