Let’s Be Real About ‘Let’s Be Cops’

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“The community that denies to a portion of its members their plain rights under the law has severed the only safe bond of social order and prosperity. The evil works from a bad center both ways. It demoralizes those who practice it and destroys the faith of those who suffer by it in the efficiency of the law as a safe protector.” – Benjamin Harrison, 1889

Let’s Be Cops (2014)
Directed by Luke Greenfield
Written by Luke Greenfield & Nicholas Thomas
104 min.

Everyone’s first response to Let’s Be Cops is to wince at the timing—a film about frat boy cop antics released the week a town is besieged by a police paramilitia. But really, when you get right down to it, when would be good timing here? What is this movie’s best case scenario? America’s toughest week in a long time is really the only time this 21 Jump Street ripoff has anything more to offer us than tepid chuckles.

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Interior. Leather Bar. “Fuck Scripts.”

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Interior. Leather Bar. (2013)
Directed by Travis Mathews & James Franco
Written by Travis Mathews
60 min.

Spoiler-free.

“Fuck Scripts.” – James Franco, Interior. Leather Bar.

There is no greater summation of this film than in this seemingly throwaway line, which Franco barely ekes out without smirking, in the scene from which I’ve grabbed the screenshot above. Within his delivery of it lies an acknowledgment of its hyperbolic untruthfulness, as well as its inherent truth—what he means is, ‘yes, of course scripts are important, but at the same time, they’re just scripts, and their being there or not being there isn’t worth worrying about’. And his mouth lets us know that he knows we can’t help but wondering anyway, and that this is the right reaction.

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R.I.P. Robin Williams (1951-2014)

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My parents had a special chance encounter with Robin Williams. This must have been during the 80′s, although I’m not sure exactly when. Maybe my sister remembers. It was at a museum here in NYC, the last day of an exhibit by an artist that had designed all sorts of chairs or something. It was late in the day, and the place just so happened to be empty except for my parents and Robin Williams and his wife at the time.

The exhibit was pretty dour and uninteresting. Both couples were quiet and respectful of the art though—that is, until they realized that all four of them thought the art was ridiculous.

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5 Good Reasons Not To See Guardians of the Galaxy

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Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
Directed by James Gunn
Written by James Gunn & Nicole Perlman
121 min.

Spoiler-free.

Guardians of the Galaxy is a new movie that has just come out and apparently it’s great or something. It’s got a raccoon and a green lady and tree guy and a regular guy and another guy, and they’re all in space doing stuff. It’s directed by James Gunn, who made Slither, a great movie, and wrote the Dawn of the Dead remake, a quite good movie. His other movie Super was bad, but whatever. Quoth the Neil Hamburger, “They can’t all be zingers!” But I digress.

Everyone’s saying you should see this thing, and maybe they have a point, but I can think of five good reasons why you shouldn’t.

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‘Scooter Trash’: Art Porn By A Bunch Of Bikers

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Scooter Trash (1985)
Directed by Boz Crawford
80 min.

The way I heard about this movie was through Jeff Krulik’s 1996 documentary short King of Porn, about Ralph Whittington, owner of one of the largest pornography collections in the world. His collection currently resides at the Museum of Sex.

One of the pornos Ralph talks about in the doc is Scooter Trash, which features real bikers from upstate NY. Being a NYC native and a fan of all things unique when it comes cinema, I had to track it down.

It was surprisingly easy to find a torrent for it and download it—I guess there are a handful of Scooter Trash fans out there seeding it 24/7. Good on them for doing so, because this is a pretty remarkable movie.

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