The Empress, Quite Literally, Has No Clothes

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I’ve been putting off writing this essay for some time, waiting for the ‘right moment’ I guess. As though there is ever a ‘right moment’ to write a scathing criticism of an individual and their artistic output. It’s kind of a dick thing to do, I’ll admit. But god dammit, when it comes to Lena Dunham, it really needs to be done—and done by smart ol’ me. Because even though there is plenty of distaste out there for her and her work, it seems no one is really getting to the root of exactly why she should be despised. So, over the course of this essay, I will break down, on a deep, intellectual level, exactly why she is a counterfeit artist, and why Girls is a hazardous product that goes against the proper functions of storytelling.
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Mrs. Doubtfire is one of the Greatest Superhero Movies Ever Made

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Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)
Directed by Christopher Columbus
Screenplay by Randi Mayem Singer and Leslie Dixon
Adapted from the novel Alias Madame Doubtfire by Anne Fine
125 min.

Shut up, I’m serious. It’s a superhero movie, I swear to god. I’ll explain why and everything and it’ll totally make sense. But first, a little backstory.

I worked at a hole-in-the-wall video store for about five years, in my teens. This was in a neighborhood with tons of little kids. I saw what they took out and what they didn’t. Mrs. Doubtfire went out all the fucking time. This was not during the 90’s, mind you—this was 10-15 years after the movie came out. We couldn’t keep the thing on the shelf. It outperformed all other kids movies, and was the absolute most rented DVD and VHS in the place.

Kids would rent it over and over, too. I’d see the same faces bringing it up to the counter every few weeks, which is strange, because you’d think if a kid were renting it that often, their parents would just buy it for them already, rather than constantly shelling out $3 every time they wanted to watch it. Fishy.
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Kill The Lion: A Film Manifesto or rather a Taste of a Film Manifesto I’m Working On

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“True revolution comes from true revulsion; when things get bad enough, the kitten will kill the lion.” – Charles Bukowski, from his poem ‘The People’

I read that poem back when I was making Shredder, my first feature-length film, and that line blew me away. It perfectly expressed my feelings about the then current (and still current) state of so-called ‘independent film’—a phrase that once, long ago, had an objective definition: a film made outside of the major studio system, funded by an independent studio or some other wholly independent source.
Continue reading Kill The Lion: A Film Manifesto or rather a Taste of a Film Manifesto I’m Working On