Alex’s Reviews – Page 2 – Smug Film (1/7/13

I Do Declare ‘Compliance’ To Be The Worst Movie of 2012

compliance

Compliance (2012)
Written and Directed by Craig Zobel
90 min.

Warning: Spoilers ahead.

You shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, I know, but when I see a title like Compliance, a red flag goes up in my head. It’s one thing to make a title short (Jaws is brilliant) but it’s another to give away the entire movie’s theme right off the bat. (Gee, I wonder what Shame is about. Perhaps it’s about doubt? No, that’s probably Doubt. What do you think the characters achieve in the movie Atonement? And so on.) When a writer/director/producer/studio chooses a title like Compliance, they’re announcing to the world that their movie is About Something That Should Be Taken Seriously, unlike those plebeian popcorn flicks with actually-great titles such as Drag Me To Hell or The Girl Who Leapt Through Time. As a result, I tend to avoid such seemingly one-note movies. But, I am also ever critical of my arbitrary biases, so I recently decided to test my hypothesis by Netflix-ing this one.
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How to Make a Kids’ Movie

Sanders and DeBlois know badass.

How to Train Your Dragon (2010)
Directed by Chris Sanders and Dean DeBlois
Written by Will Davies, Chris Sanders, and Dean DeBlois
98 min.

You know that moment in Ratatouille when a single bite of Remy’s “peasant dish” confit byaldi delivers an almost spiritually transformative experience to the soul-dead critic Anton Ego? That happened to me when I first watched How To Train Your Dragon. I’m a perpetually grumpy 24-year-old undergraduate STEM major, and it takes a pretty special movie to penetrate the cold stone that encapsulates my heart, so I was quite surprised when this one, quite effortlessly, did just that. So, you’ll have to forgive me if, over the course of this review, my arguments devolve into fanboyish ranting. I ain’t saying HTTYD is the best thing since The Lion King, but it is the best animated kids’ movie made in the U.S. since at least Wall-E, and is easily one of the best computer animated movies of all time.
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Premium Rush is the Best Action Movie You Didn’t See in 2012

Michael Shannon and Gordon-Levitt make a memorable cat and mouse pair.

Premium Rush (2012)
Directed by David Koepp
Written by David Koepp and John Kamps
91 min.

2012 was full of self-serious groaners pretending to be action movies. I’m talking about the ones with oppressively sullen atmospheres and desaturated colors and adults speaking in serious tones about serious consequences. Skyfall and The Bourne Legacy and what have you. The poster child for this recent spate of ‘grown up’ action movies is, of course, The Dark Knight and its sequel—two movies that stupid people argue feature ‘moral complexities’ not found in your average popcorn flick. Give me a break. Personally, I can’t stand when a movie with an inherently fantastical and silly premise carries itself too seriously. And with Man of Steel and Star Trek Into Darkness dominating 2013’s action lineup, it seems like we won’t be out of Nolan’s shadow for a while.
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Jurassic Park Was Almost Ruined By The Technology That Made It Possible

Jurassic Park (1993)
Directed by Steven Spielberg
Written by David Koepp and Michael Crichton
126 min.

Warning: Spoilers ahead.

After Jaws, Jurassic Park is my favorite Spielberg. By and large, it’s a great big piece of blockbusting cinematic magic. So what if its plot does little beyond getting characters where they need to be in order to get attacked by dinosaurs in the most spectacular of fashions—and often ungracefully? (Where exactly did that goat come from?) It ain’t Tarkovsky, guys—it’s purely entertainment for its own sake. It’s a creature feature about a dinosaur zoo going haywire. If this prospect alone isn’t enough to excite you, go back to your art films you pretentious tosser, because if you’re not too full of yourself to buy into it, this movie is a serious treat. Even almost 20 years after its theatrical release, Jurassic Park remains one of the greatest cinematic thrill rides ever released.
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Meek’s Cutoff is a Tedious Nightmare

meeks The second most interesting thing that happens in Meek’s Cutoff.

Meek’s Cutoff (2010)
Directed by Kelly Reichardt
Written by Jonathan Raymond
104 min.

Warning: Mild spoilers ahead.

One review I read of Meek’s Cutoff called it an “anti-Western”, and that title is apt. Director Kelly Reichardt does approach the genre from a unique perspective. She shows the earliest journeys made by settlers to the American far West as they really were: really fucking tedious most of the time.

There’s a wagon train of eight people lost and thirsty in the Oregon desert. They think their guide—the asshole racist Stephen Meek—is responsible, either from negligence or malice. A lone Native American shows up and Meek captures him. They think the Native American might know how to find water, so they take him along. They get into an argument when one of their wagons crashes. Then they see a living tree. I guess that means they find water, but I don’t know because the movie ends before anything else happens. That’s not a synopsis, that’s literally every significant plot point in the whole thing.
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