Author: Cody Clarke

Hercules (2014)
Directed by Brett Ratner
Screenplay by Ryan Condal & Evan Spiliotopoulos
98 min.

Trust me, I’m as surprised as you are. I mean, I thought I’d like it—The Scorpion King is serviceable, cheesy fun and I figured this one would be up that same alley—but holy shit, this thing is a masterpiece. Easily the best film I’ve seen all year long. And while yes, the title of this piece is hyperbolic, it’s not as hyperbolic as you might think. There is true brilliance in this film. It is a singular work with something truly unique to say, just waiting to be discovered.

Continue reading That Hercules Movie with The Rock in it is The Greatest Movie Ever Made

Tusk (2014)
Written and Directed by Kevin Smith
102 min. (5 min. watched)

Hey y’all, this is a new series where I talk about movies I couldn’t finish and why. I’m not like Jenna—I don’t think you should Always Finish The Goddamn Movie. To me, if fifteen minutes go by and it hasn’t interested you at all yet, or if somewhere along the way to that fifteen minute mark it commits some sort of unforgivably lame act that makes you wanna abort mission, I say just hit stop and put something else on. No shame in that whatsoever. First of all, you aren’t doing a movie any favors if you force yourself to watch it when you know you’re not in the mood for its vibe. And second, I wholeheartedly believe that there are certain indefensible things a movie can do that can shatter your faith in it completely. And I’m not talking trivial, nitpicky, clickbait-y, CinemaSins style offenses—I’m talking straight up, fuck this movie, we’re done here type shit.

Case in point: the opening scene of Tusk.

Continue reading Why I Turned It Off #1 – Tusk (2014)