Category: Essays

Fuck Writer’s Block

adaptation
Adaptation (2002)

Writing is hard.

It should be easy, because you just sit down and describe the stuff in your head, but what about when there isn’t anything in your head?  They call that ‘Writer’s Block’—which Jerry Seinfeld says is bullshit. “Writer’s Block is a phony, made up, BS excuse for not doing your work,” he says.

And he’s absolutely right.

If you’re serious about being an artist, and making a living as a filmmaker, then you gotta write.  It’s work in the same way that being a teacher or a construction worker or a nurse or an office person is.  It’s work, so do it.
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Our First Anniversary!

wedidit


Tomorrow, January 7th, marks the first anniversary of Smug Film! Thank you, everyone, who has visited our site in the last 365 days or so. I know I can speak for everyone here when I say that we are honored whenever anyone reads something on our site. In this Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, BuzzFeed world, sites like Smug Film—ones that produce actual, substantial content—seem to be disappearing. And so, when you choose to read one of our posts, you are voting, with your eyes and your brain and your free time, for the existence of full meals on the internet. Don’t get me wrong, bite-size sweets are fine in moderation, but man have they become rampant in the last couple years. It seems as though we’re stuck in this weird time period where the less attention a thing takes, the more popular it is, and the more time people spend with it. Basically, it’s like everyone’s playing Candy Crush non-stop, whether they’re even playing the actual game or not, ya feel me? But I digress.
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A Dig Through Walmart’s Bargain Bin

bin


I never go to Walmart.  Not out of some liberal hatred for it or anything, though. I don’t go because here in Michigan, we have a superstore called Meijer which makes it unnecessary to shop anywhere else.  (The people here call it ‘Meijers’ by the way—it’s a stupid, Michigander thing.)  Anyway, last night I went to Walmart with some friends, because they wanted to go to Walmart, and I was at their mercy, so I went.

Walmart has a bargain bin.  A real one.  Meijer phased out their bargain bins a while back, which sucks, and is really the only thing that sucks about Meijer.
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Rocky vs. Raging Bull

grudge


Since Hollywood decided to do Rocky vs. Raging Bull, I figured I’d do the same.

Stories are a template. For practical purposes, the story is the plot (it actually isn’t, but just bear with me). A story is only as good as the way it’s told. Rocky has a decent story, a story we’ve heard a million times, but it’s told with care and craftsmanship.  Rocky, the story, executed as the film Rocky, is transcendent—whereas Rocky, the story, executed as the film The Mighty Ducks, is okay I guess.  Raging Bull is not a story—it’s information about a guy, dressed up stylistically. That doesn’t make it bad, but, it makes the two difficult to compare.
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The Star Wars Prequels Are Better Than You Think They Are

jinn


The Star Wars prequels are widely regarded as the worst additions to a beloved franchise of all time. Red Letter Media’s feature-length eviscerations of each film are some of the funniest things I’ve ever seen, but I don’t agree with the central argument. I regularly sit down and watch all six movies, and you know what? The prequels are the best part of the experience every time.

Here’s why.
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