Category: Essays

The Hollywood Shuffle: Tales From a Showbiz Bigshot (Part One)

sampic


Compared to you, I’m still a Showbiz big shot. Trust me on that. I’ve made a lot of money, I’ve got a shitload of impressive credits, and in a few small circles, I’ve been afforded cult star status—but I won’t bore you with the resume. Look it up for yourself, or just take my word for it. (You ain’t gonna do either, and don’t think I don’t know that.)

However, it’s not much solace that most of my glitzier credits now wave to me from my rearview mirror despite the fact that some of my best work has been done within the last twelve months. (You know, I promised myself a long time ago that if I ever used the phrase, “Some of my best work,” I’d hang myself in a closet and hope the press attributes it to kinky sex gone awry. Hey, it worked for David Carradine, right?)
Continue reading The Hollywood Shuffle: Tales From a Showbiz Bigshot (Part One)

The 50/50 Rule: How To Watch Movies

5050


I’ve tried to write this essay a million times.  In fact, I was trying to write this essay since before Cody and I even started this site.  I’m still not exactly sure why it’s been so hard, but I think it has something to do with the inherent difficulty in explaining paradoxes—in this case, the paradox of knowing a movie is gonna bad before you’ve even seen it, but also knowing that it could, technically, be good, but also knowing that it will be bad.

Every movie is a product on a shelf.  And the job of the people selling the movie is to try to convince you that it’ll be good.  But they almost always do a terrible job.  It’s not their fault, really.  I mean, how can one capture the depth and complexity of Big in three minutes?  The social security number joke just wouldn’t play in the context of a trailer.  So the powers that be are forced to not only tell you the premise, but also give you some universally funny moments that entice you to see it.  This is why the least funny scenes are in the trailer, and why stupid people laugh at these scenes like Pavlov’s dogs.
Continue reading The 50/50 Rule: How To Watch Movies

Wes Anderson, Please Don’t Become Tim Burton

bottlerocket
Wes Anderson is capable of perfect moments like this. But I don’t think he even cares.

I love him, don’t get me wrong. I’m a Wes Anderson fan. I really am. Every single one of his movies are either very good or great. Well, almost every single one. His latest, Moonrise Kingdom, is quite bad. And that worries me. Because until it, Anderson had that whole ‘style and substance’ thing down pat—and then suddenly, not so much. To the untrained eye, one might assume it was simply a much-needed slapdash, throwaway, breather film after the hard work and meticulousness of Fantastic Mr. Fox. But I suspect something worse going on. I suspect hackery.
Continue reading Wes Anderson, Please Don’t Become Tim Burton

In Defense of ‘Save The Cat’

wiebe

Steve Wiebe: one of the greatest heroes in cinema.

Spoilers ahead. If you haven’t seen The King of Kong (what is wrong with you?) see it before reading.

I saw The King of Kong five times in the theater, which is a record for me (I only saw Jurassic Park four times).  I saw it the night it opened at the AMC in Times Square, and the theater was about half full, which is pretty impressive for a limited release documentary.
Continue reading In Defense of ‘Save The Cat’

My First Feature Film Is Almost Done

hectic2

I’ve told this story a billion times so this time I’m going to try to include some more details.  When my late grandpa, Tom Easton, was ten years old, he saw Fantasia in the theater.  He always wanted to be a cartoonist but his dad was cold and distant and thought cartoons were for kids and no way to make a living.  But despite that lack of encouragement, Tom did some cool things.  He avoided combat in the Korean War by teaching art on base and drawing army posters.
Continue reading My First Feature Film Is Almost Done