Why I Turned It Off #1 – Tusk (2014)

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Tusk (2014)
Written and Directed by Kevin Smith
102 min. (5 min. watched)

Hey y’all, this is a new series where I talk about movies I couldn’t finish and why. I’m not like Jenna—I don’t think you should Always Finish The Goddamn Movie. To me, if fifteen minutes go by and it hasn’t interested you at all yet, or if somewhere along the way to that fifteen minute mark it commits some sort of unforgivably lame act that makes you wanna abort mission, I say just hit stop and put something else on. No shame in that whatsoever. First of all, you aren’t doing a movie any favors if you force yourself to watch it when you know you’re not in the mood for its vibe. And second, I wholeheartedly believe that there are certain indefensible things a movie can do that can shatter your faith in it completely. And I’m not talking trivial, nitpicky, clickbait-y, CinemaSins style offenses—I’m talking straight up, fuck this movie, we’re done here type shit.

Case in point: the opening scene of Tusk.

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Cody Clarke & John D’Amico on ‘Chappie’

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Chappie (2015)
Directed by Neill Blomkamp
Written by Neill Blomkamp & Terri Tatchell
120 min.

This past Wednesday, John D’Amico and I attended a free advance screening of this film. The following is a conversation between us, discussing everything from the film to the screening itself:

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Cody Clarke & John D’Amico on ‘Hot Tub Time Machine 2’

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Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015)
Directed by Steve Pink
Written by Josh Heald
93 min.

This past Wednesday, John D’Amico and I attended a free advance screening of this film. The following is a conversation between us, discussing everything from the film to the experience of the event itself:

Cody: Alright, so first off, how about that fucking cold ass line? Not blaming the theater for the weather of course, but man that was not the night to be outside on a line for a movie, let alone an ‘eh, I’ll go I guess’ movie like Hot Tub Time Machine 2.

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Interior. Leather Bar. “Fuck Scripts.”

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Interior. Leather Bar. (2013)
Directed by Travis Mathews & James Franco
Written by Travis Mathews
60 min.

Spoiler-free.

“Fuck Scripts.” – James Franco, Interior. Leather Bar.

There is no greater summation of this film than in this seemingly throwaway line, which Franco barely ekes out without smirking, in the scene from which I’ve grabbed the screenshot above. Within his delivery of it lies an acknowledgment of its hyperbolic untruthfulness, as well as its inherent truth—what he means is, ‘yes, of course scripts are important, but at the same time, they’re just scripts, and their being there or not being there isn’t worth worrying about’. And his mouth lets us know that he knows we can’t help but wondering anyway, and that this is the right reaction.

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‘Scooter Trash’: Art Porn By A Bunch Of Bikers

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Scooter Trash (1985) Directed by Boz Crawford 80 min.

The way I heard about this movie was through Jeff Krulik’s 1996 documentary short King of Porn, about Ralph Whittington, owner of one of the largest pornography collections in the world. His collection currently resides at the Museum of Sex.

One of the pornos Ralph talks about in the doc is Scooter Trash, which features real bikers from upstate NY. Being a NYC native and a fan of all things unique when it comes cinema, I had to track it down.

It was surprisingly easy to find a torrent for it and download it—I guess there are a handful of Scooter Trash fans out there seeding it 24/7. Good on them for doing so, because this is a pretty remarkable movie.

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