The Lords of Salem: A Love Letter To A Lost Genre

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The Lords of Salem (2013)
Written & Directed by Rob Zombie
101 min.

Mild spoilers.

If there’s one movie trend I can totally get behind, it’s the “B Movie Love Letter”. It’s almost its own genre at this point. Recent examples include Neil Marshall’s Doomsday, Wright and Pegg’s Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz (and their upcoming The World’s End), Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds and Django Unchained (really his whole catalogue), Ti West’s House of the Devil, Lexi Alexander’s Punisher: War Zone, and Peter Travis’ Dredd. And Star Wars and Indiana Jones are some not so recent examples. These filmmakers mine their inspirations for their best aspects and transplant them into modern productions—which are almost inevitably better than the movies they pay homage to, as the ‘originals’ were often made quickly and on the cheap just to provide cheap thrills and make a buck or two. Dredd was much talked about last year, and I’m hoping The Lords of Salem gets similar attention this year, because it’s even more fun.
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The Bet Still Stands, Larry David: An Interview with Indie Filmmaker Sam Henry Kass

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Through the annals of film history, we generally look to the 70s as the epicenter of the independent film explosion.  And while filmmakers like Coppola, Scorsese, Altman, De Palma, Spielberg, and Lucas were the respective patient zeros, this ‘golden era’ really only marks a midpoint in an evolution that began much earlier and has continued on into today.  There have always been independents and they come in all shapes and sizes.  I like to say the best independent film ever made is The Empire Strikes Back.  It’s ironic to think that the epitome of big budget, effects driven, Hollywood cinema could be considered independent, but it is—and Empire’s spirit, and Clerks‘s spirt, are one and the same.
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Any Day Now: ‘Based On A True Story’ My Ass

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Any Day Now (2012)
Directed by Travis Fine
Written by Travis Fine and George Arthur Bloom
97 min.

Spoiler-free.

What does ‘based on a true story’ mean?

The phrase gets used a lot to promote movies, and both your average joe and your above-average joe, when seeing said phrase, typically assumes it to mean that the basics of the story are true. Maybe there’s some artistic license here or there, some composite characters or whatever, but the movie bears enough resemblance to the actual facts that the phrase can be used in good faith.

This assumption is usually correct. Most movies ‘based on a true story’ are, in fact, that. But occasionally, they aren’t. Occasionally, the phrase is used as a deception. The filmmakers and/or producers know that the movie will have more pull if the phrase is there, so they stick it on a poster or promotional material, even though the film is entirely fictional.
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3 Films I Saw At Sundance London (Touchy Feely, In A World, History of the Eagles Part One)

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The Sundance film festival has become so large, powerful, and popular in recent years that they’ve begun shipping it on over to my neck of the woods, the United Kingdom. Only a couple of movies make the trip, presumably the best, or at least, the ones the yanks think we’ll like. I saw three while I was there. Here are my thoughts.
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10 Movies Nobody Has Seen (Because Nobody Cares About Them)

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Sometime in the year 2000, I went to the movies, and I don’t even remember what I ended up seeing because one of the previews left such a profound mark on me that what followed has been erased from my memory.  The preview was for Under the Tuscan Sun, and when it came on all I could think was, ”who the fuck would ever want to see this movie?”.  That moment crystalized my understanding of the irrelevant.

The movies on this list are not famously bad like Plan 9 From Outer Space.  And they’re not notorious flops like Ishtar and Bonfire of the Vanities.  In fact, there’s nothing remotely memorable about them.  They just sort of exist, but it’s hard to believe they do, because nobody talks about them.  In a way, they’re much worse than awesomely bad triumphs like The Room and Troll 2, because those movies at least found an audience.  These movies are so wholly uninteresting in every way that they aren’t even worth making fun of.

If you’ve seen any of the following movies, please let me know.  You’ll be the first person ever to have seen them, and will be given an award as their respective patient zero.
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