Tag: smug film

After Earth: Blame Smith, Not Shyamalan

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After Earth (2013)
Directed by M. Night Shyamalan
Screenplay by Gary Whitta and M. Night Shyamalan
Story by Will Smith
100 min.

Tommy Lee Jones once said that the secret to being funny is standing next to Will Smith.  Like any leading man, Smith is classically handsome, cut from steel, infinitely charming, and possesses an inexplicable charisma that glues your eyes to him.  His son does not.  Jaden Smith’s eyes are like Vin Diesel’s—boring and lifeless.  And his acting is about ten billion times worse.
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The 10 Best Movies You’ve Never Seen, Part II

You know how when you start trying to think of stuff, days later more stuff keep popping into your head?  It’s the cousin phenomena to thinking of a clever comeback the day after the party when it’s way too late to use it.

The first few movie I thought of after the fact were added as ‘honorable mentions’ to my first list of The 10 Best Movies You’ve Never Seen, but in the weeks that followed, I was able to come up with ten more, some equally as good as on the first list.  Which I guess makes the first list bunk.  But I don’t know how official these rankings really are.

Again, I know it’s audacious of me to suggest you haven’t seen these.  I hope you have.  And if you haven’t, I hope these become some of your new favorite movies!

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10.  The Karate Kid, Part III (1989) | Dir. John G. Avildsen | 112 min.

Okay, this is on here because you all think you’ve seen this, but you haven’t.  The Karate Kid Part III is NOT the one with Hillary Swank.  That’s the fourth one.  That one is called The Next Karate Kid, and it isn’t good.
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Pieta: How To Pander To A New Audience Without Losing Your Soul

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Pieta (2012)
Written and Directed by Kim Ki-duk
104 min.

Spoiler-free.

Kim Ki-duk is one of my absolute favorite filmmakers. And I only even like about half his movies. Some of them are just awful. But the ones I like, I really like. And a few of them, I fucking love. 

A lot of people use the word ‘love’ lightly when it comes to movies. These people have most likely never truly been in love with a movie. When you truly love a movie, it becomes a part of your body. The movie finishes, and you look down, and suddenly you have another arm or something. And you’re like, ‘Well, that’s there now.’ You have no impulse to amputate it. It’s truly a part of you, just like every other part that makes up your whole. To rid yourself of it would be to rid yourself of yourself.
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How ‘Parenthood’ Saved My Life

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When I was three or four years old, my mom took my infant brother to visit her family in New York and left me in Michigan with my dad for the weekend. While she was away, I was riding my bike and somehow managed to fall over my handle bars and scrape my face on the pavement. I was pretty distraught until my dad gathered me up, gave me ice cream, and put on the movie Parenthood. I calmed down pretty quickly, lulled by sugar and the quiet and familiar drama of family life. I’ve always enjoyed that memory; it’s a perfect vignette of my ideal childhood and the loving father figure who shaped it.

We all grew up bathed in the flickering blue glow of Saturday night movie rentals. These moments are primal, as if the light coming out of our living room windows was telegraphed by our ancestors gathered around their fires. These moments penetrate us deeply and shape our lives—in my case, in a way I never could’ve imagined.
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Upstream Color: Great Story, Awful Storytelling

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Upstream Color (2013)
Written and Directed by Shane Carruth
96 min.

What’s more important, story or storytelling? I honestly have no idea.

A great story will stick with you for the rest of your life, whether or not it’s told well, because the beats of it, the brilliant bare components, resonate with your soul and become a part of you, and help expand how you see the world on a moral level. ‘The Tortoise and the Hare’ is a great story. It’s so great we don’t even stop and think about how great it is. It’s just a part of us, as humans. You almost can’t remember a time in your life when you didn’t know it. And even if someone were to tell it to a little kid really poorly, its truth and importance would still come through.
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