Category: Reviews

10 Subtitled Movies For People Who Hate Subtitles

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Stalker (1979). Not all subtitled movies are this, people.

Personally, I’ve never understood the hatred people have for subtitles. Sure, there is a level of inconvenience that comes with having to constantly dart your eyes between the visuals and the text; I mean, you’re watching a movie because that’s what you want to do—watch something, not read it. However, in this age of text messages, the internet, scrolling news tickers, and billion hit Youtube videos from around the world, you’d think we’d be over the stigma of subtitles by now.
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Red Tails: Watch It And Feel Like A Kid Again

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Unlike the Star Wars prequels, here’s a plot young kids can actually follow.

Red Tails (2012)
Directed by Anthony Hemingway
Screenplay by John Ridley and Aaron McGruder
125 min.

Right off the bat, I should warn you that Red Tails is not a good movie. At least, not in the traditional sense. It’s not even good ‘for what it is’. It’s just plain bad. But you will have a good time. You’ll be laughing at ineptitude in damn near every scene, and, even with all its cheesiness, this movie will touch you on a very deep level—in fact, partly because of its cheesiness. Let me explain.
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The Big Picture: Christopher Guest Should Write More Scripts

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The Big Picture (1989)
Directed by Christopher Guest
Screenplay by Christopher Guest & Michael Varhol & Michael McKean
100 min.

Rob Reiner once told a story on Kevin Pollak’s Chat Show about going to the premiere of The Princess Bride and seeing Christopher Guest there.  In his mind, he thought, ‘that’s nice of him to come and show his support’.  Then, after a minute, it dawned on him—he’s in the movie!  He goes on to explain that Guest is such a good actor that he completely disappears into his roles—so much so that Rob literally forgot he was even in his movie.
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Shane: The Most Western Western

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Shane (1953)
Directed by George Stevens
Screenplay by A.B. Guthrie Jr.
Additional Dialogue by Jack Sher
Based on the novel by Jack Schaefer

My great fear—and sadly this is true—is the possibility, however remote, that I’ll get sucked through time into a distant and shattered future where I’ll be forced to rebuild human civilization. Digging through our fallen society’s vast underground archives, I alone would have to bridge eons of cultural distance and reintroduce art to a numbed world.

Where do you begin? How do you introduce someone to rock and roll? What captures the essence of the form? What is the most rock and roll album? Sticky Fingers? Born To Run? Rubber Soul? I could never decide. What is the most modernist novel? What is the most Shakespearian of Shakespeare’s plays? What is the most sitcom sitcom? It’s a series of Sophie’s choices, each more stressful than the last.

But in this complicated world, one thing is clear:

Shane is the most western western.
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Promised Land: Good Job, Gus

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Promised Land (2012)
Directed by Gus Van Sant
Screenplay by John Krasinski & Matt Damon
Story by Dave Eggers
106 min.

Promised Land is a good movie.  And Gus Van Sant is a good director.  And Matt Damon and John Krasinski are good actors and writers.

This is a movie that nobody saw last year.  It’s a small movie, the kind that still gets made by mega celebrities like Matt Damon but that nobody sees because the market is pretty well taken over by other kinds of movies like Taken 2 and The Vow.  But I’m not here to wax pretentiously about lowest common denominato, fluff that ‘Hollywood’ is so ‘evil’ for churning out.  (The hipsters have that market well cornered.)  I’m here, rather, to talk about Promised Land.  But first, about Gus Van Sant.
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