5 Good Reasons Not To See Guardians of the Galaxy

guardians

Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
Directed by James Gunn
Written by James Gunn & Nicole Perlman
121 min.

Spoiler-free.

Guardians of the Galaxy is a new movie that has just come out and apparently it’s great or something. It’s got a raccoon and a green lady and tree guy and a regular guy and another guy, and they’re all in space doing stuff. It’s directed by James Gunn, who made Slither, a great movie, and wrote the Dawn of the Dead remake, a quite good movie. His other movie Super was bad, but whatever. Quoth the Neil Hamburger, “They can’t all be zingers!” But I digress.

Everyone’s saying you should see this thing, and maybe they have a point, but I can think of five good reasons why you shouldn’t.

Continue reading 5 Good Reasons Not To See Guardians of the Galaxy

‘Scooter Trash’: Art Porn By A Bunch Of Bikers

scooter8

Scooter Trash (1985) Directed by Boz Crawford 80 min.

The way I heard about this movie was through Jeff Krulik’s 1996 documentary short King of Porn, about Ralph Whittington, owner of one of the largest pornography collections in the world. His collection currently resides at the Museum of Sex.

One of the pornos Ralph talks about in the doc is Scooter Trash, which features real bikers from upstate NY. Being a NYC native and a fan of all things unique when it comes cinema, I had to track it down.

It was surprisingly easy to find a torrent for it and download it—I guess there are a handful of Scooter Trash fans out there seeding it 24/7. Good on them for doing so, because this is a pretty remarkable movie.

Continue reading ‘Scooter Trash’: Art Porn By A Bunch Of Bikers

‘Todd Solondz on Becoming a Filmmaker’: An Unintentional Short Film

solondz

As of the time I’m writing this, Todd Solondz on Becoming a Filmmaker & Welcome to the Dollhouse has 412 views in the 6 months it’s been online. That is a travesty. It’s one of the best short films I’ve seen in ages, albeit an unintentional one.

It’s basically just Todd Solondz being interviewed by a film major at Drexel University, Zachary Shevich, but really it’s so much more. It contains all the precise uncomfortability you might expect from a Solondz film, but wholly organic. For starters, it’s as though Solondz is being interviewed by one of his characters—Zachary’s vibe and mannerisms and attire are similar to that of the protagonist of Dark Horse and certain side characters from Storytelling, Palindromes, and Life During Wartime. Then, there’s the production values—the setting, a college screening room, is uncomfortably overlit; Solondz’ lavalier microphone is placed on the wrong side of his lapel for the direction he is speaking, as though they were nervous to be interviewing him and weren’t thinking, and maybe even switched sides last minute; the lower third graphic stating their names is a depressingly ugly, brown, clipart film strip, with a bland font; there are random mic rumbles here and there from breathing and fidgeting, and at certain points, Solondz bows his head and accidentally talks quite loudly into his mic. On top of all of this, you of course have Solondz’ calmly dour and intimidating demeanor. It’s a must-watch.

My favorite moment is the cut at 1:23 where we see the exact distance and body language of our two characters. That’s the shot at the top of this post. By the way, there’s a Part 2! You can watch both parts below:

Continue reading ‘Todd Solondz on Becoming a Filmmaker’: An Unintentional Short Film

Back To The Future: I’ve Finally Seen It, And I Have Questions

doc

Every generation has movies that define their childhoods. Typically, these are ones you ‘just had to be there’ to truly experience an unwavering, visceral nostalgia for. I was born in the 80’s, so if I had to make a master list of my own, just off the top of my head it’d probably include Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Jurassic Park, The Lion King, and Robin Hood: Men in Tights. But there are many 80’s and early 90’s staples that I managed to miss completely—no, I didn’t grow up under a rock, but movies like The Princess Bride, Clueless, The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Home Alone (okay, most everything by John Hughes) and Back to the Future are all ones I somehow managed to miss entirely.

But now, thanks to a friend who literally set up a private screening in a college lecture auditorium for me because he was so upset I hadn’t seen it, I have finally watched Back To The Future for the first time at the age of 27. And boy do I have questions.

Continue reading Back To The Future: I’ve Finally Seen It, And I Have Questions

‘Life Itself’: A Film About Life Itself

lifeitself

Life Itself (2014)
Directed by Steve James
120 min.

It seems that if you’re a film critic, your opinion of Life Itself boils down to whatever your opinion is of Roger Ebert. Those who disliked him, and have accused him of dumbing down film criticism by chewing up the art form in order to make it digestible for mass audiences, have disliked the film. And those who loved him for his wit, knowledge, and simple yet elegant prose, have championed it.

Continue reading ‘Life Itself’: A Film About Life Itself