Phenomena: Being a Girl is Fucking Metal

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Phenomena (1985)
Directed by Dario Argento
Written by Dario Argento and Franco Ferrini
110 min.

Very mild spoilers.

It’s understandable that independent, assertive, intelligent women might have trouble identifying with most female characters, because these traits are traditionally seen as ‘masculine‘, and as such, given to men.  For this reason, I more often identify with male characters than female ones. Aside from Ana in Cria Cuervos, it’s usually pretty hard for me to think of any on the spot—but now that I’ve seen Dario Argento’s Phenomena, I have another.
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The Wind Rises: Sub or Dub?

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The Wind Rises (2013)
Written and Directed by Hayao Miyazaki
126 min.

Spoiler-free.

Dear Prospective Viewers Of The Wind Rises,

I know what you’re wondering—which version to see. Both are out now, some theaters even playing both, and you don’t want to spend your money on the wrong one.

Well, I’ve seen both, and I’m here to help.
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R.I.P. James Rebhorn: Greg & Cody’s Thoughts

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Greg DeLiso: Why are all of these cool people dying?  Harold Ramis right after Philip Seymour Hoffman and Bob Casale from Devo, and now, a guy I’m ashamed to say I did not know the name of.  But, his face, his voice, and his performances were a huge part of my childhood.

Independence Day was a huge theater going experience for me as a kid.  My mom took me one Summer afternoon when I was ten years old, and it was like my The Day the Earth Stood Still or The Blob—a fun excursion into the bigness of movies, the kind of stuff Spielberg and Scorsese talk about from their youth.
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Cría Cuervos: The Most Chloe Movie Ever

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Cría Cuervos (1976)
Written and Directed by Carlos Saura
110 min.

Very mild spoilers ahead.

When I was seven, my mom made a home movie of me walking around a mulberry bush surrounded by purple and white flowers, picking them and humming to myself quietly.  Even though I had bossed her incessantly before she hit record to follow me with the camera as I carefully timed my pauses and expressions, she did what moms in the 90’s with fanny packs and Hi-8 cameras did instead—she began to narrate it in the most sarcastic, dorky voice possible: “This… is… Chloe…”

At the time, I didn’t know that I was trying to direct.  I didn’t even know what directing was, nor had the concept of moviemaking ever occurred to me.  And to this day, although I want to make movies, I haven’t done anything serious—I’ve only been daydreaming, just as I had been doing on that day, when her seemingly oblivious voice interrupted me and made me feel embarrassment that I’d been caught, and as though a special moment had been robbed of me.  I angrily ran up to her and yelled at the camera, “Mom, erase it! Erase it!

My mom must not have been as oblivious as she acted though, because after that, she made our main way of interacting watching and analyzing movies together.  And she instilled in me, not just a love for movies, but a certain idealism about life that has stubbornly remained and kept me alive to this day, long after she’s been gone.

One might assume that it’s easier to write about movies that strike us deeply in our souls.  However, this is the most challenging piece I have ever written—not because I have little to say about the film (I have so much to say about it) but because it takes a lot of discipline not to go on and on about my entire life story over the course of explaining why I was so deeply affected by it.  Cría Cuervos is basically a movie about my childhood—and the reason I watched it was that someone who knows me very well said, “Watch Cría Cuervos, it’s the most Chloe movie ever.”  They were right—I had to pause it several times in order to not blur the frames with my tears.
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Nothing But Star Wars

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I’m a Star Wars kid.  That’s not a fan club membership title, it’s simply a term brought into the lexicon by the unabashed popularity of Star Wars.  If you grew up loving Star Wars, you’re a Star Wars kid.  The first generation of Star Wars kids saw it in the theater in the summer of 1977, the second generation (me) saw the Special Edition in the theater in 1997, and then the three prequels that followed in 1999, 2002, and 2005.

A discussion about which versions are good, and which are bad, and which are pure, etc., is a valid and interesting one, but it’s better left in the hands of Trey Parker & Matt Stone, RedLetterMedia, Smug Film’s own Harry Brewis, and the makers of The People vs. George Lucas.

I’ve always wanted to write about Star Wars, but the problem is, everything has already been said about Star Wars and then some.  Has George Lucas become The Empire in some kind of Animal Farm ironic switcheroo?  Maybe.  Probably not.  Are the three prequels terrible?  Kinda, yeah.  Should Jar Jar Binks be hung in effigy and burned? I guess, but no.  Are the Special Editions evil?  No.  Was Greedo shooting first evil?  Yeah, but we all already know why.

As I get older, what fascinates me about Star Wars is its hold on the cultural zeitgeist.  As an atheist, I’m interested in the idea of the Bible: a book written by God that has lasted thousands of years and not only stayed relevant but has been taken as truth by some.  Star Wars is only 37 years old, and will hopefully never be taken as truth—but, Star Wars is priming itself to be the touchstone artistic achievement of our time.
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